Saturday, March 5, 2011

When Hearts Attack!

I am recovering from my heart attack nicely, thank you very little.  Not a real one mind you, but the "my Dad called me a freaked me out" kind.

Dad called me this afternoon and asked me for help with the computer.  Dad was trying to buy virus software and kept entering in his credit card information and hitting enter, but it wouldn't work.  Let me interject and say that my heart sank when this happened.  I love computers, and I love my Dad, but helping either parent with their computer over the phone ranks right up there with standing in the only open checkout line at Walmart behind the crazy lady buying 30 cans of cat food with her pockets full of pennies.  It has to be done, but it gives me a headache.  Usually a big one.

So the computer issue turned out to be a "System Tool" virus, and my advice suddenly included the words, stop...don't push anymore the credit card company and cancel your credit card.  

While my Mom called the credit card company on her cell phone my Dad stayed on the phone with me.  To make small talk I asked Dad about what they did last night.  He responded with, "It was okay, after your Mom had her stroke, we had to take the food home to eat it."  Uh...what???  After my small stroke, I started trying to pry information out of Dad.  What makes you think she had a stroke?  Was she unconscious?  Etc. Etc.  My Mom joins the conversation again and Dad whispers, "Don't tell Mom I told you, she'll kill me."  Mom tells us both that she and Dad need to call me back because they need to take care of the credit card.

Immediately I call my brother and sister.  Now all three of us are having heart attacks.  My sister and I are working on a plan of attack when Mom calls me back.  I cut my sister off and return to Mom so I can pry more information out of her.  45 minutes later, after I've solved another computer issue, I broach the subject of Mom and her Friday night.

Mom tells me that she had decided to take only one of her two heart pills for their last week in AZ, and she put herself into a a-fib situation last night.  She explained the whole thing and (I won't bore you) but she took another heart pill and it corrected itself.  She did NOT have a stroke or a heart attack (but I did) and she is going to call her cardiologist on Monday and see if he can help her over the phone since she is away from home for the next few months.

SEVEN phone calls later I am done with my long distance computer help, medical advice, informing my siblings of the incident AND the Nerd Herd has the computer and in one to two days (and $130) everything will be resolved.  I have only lost three hours and ten years of my life.

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