During the day I like to hit the CNN and ABC tabs on the toolbar on my computer. It may be because they are there, or it may be because I don't want to be the moron at the water cooler or in the grocery line and hear that a tsunami has hit Japan. I want to be able to have a conversation with my husband and hold my own.
Yesterday I noticed the headline "a poisonous cobra had escaped the Bronx Zoo." Does this constitute headline news? Only if you live in the state of NY. I DO NOT want to hear this. I DO NOT want to know that there are any snakes loose anywhere in these continental United States. Can you tell that I am a little phobic? Frankly if you gave me an all expense paid trip to the Bronx today I would not accept it until that snake is recaptured. I realize that this may seem irrational, but I personally think that calling a snake a "pet" is irrational.
A few weeks ago I came home from school on a Friday afternoon very proud of myself. As we ate dinner I shared with my family that I had a child with a live snake as a show and tell. I managed to A. stay in the room without tossing children out of the way as I climbed on top of the computer cabinets, B. make intelligible sentences while the parent was describing how she constantly looses the snake in her home, C. watch from a few feet away as this 5 year old takes THE SNAKE OUT OF THE flimsy plastic box, and D. managed to thank the parent for bringing in her albino whatsy-whosy. This particular snake owner actually let mice loose IN THEIR HOUSE at one point to entice the snake to come out of hiding. Once the snake dropped down out of the doorway ON TOP OF HER HEAD after being missing for weeks. In my mind this parent's IQ dropped 80 points in my mind the moment she shared these "anecdotes" with me.
MY WORST NIGHTMARE.