Saturday, December 31, 2011

Everybody Does It Why Wouldn't I?

Here it is.  It is the last day of the year, and it is time to reflect.  After reading an article a friend forwarded to me recently, find it here, I am ready to make some resolutions/commitments and post them for myself and the world to see.  AND check in on my progress periodically.

1. Eat right. I know, this is usually #1 on most resolution lists, but since mid October and the birthday/Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas sugar fest that has gone into my pie-hole, I need to call it quits on sugar (at least until Valentines!) and go back to my old ways of watching what I eat.  Good bye sugar!  Your headaches will plague, your cravings will consume, but I will defeat you. Again.  Crap!  It is 3 p.m. on NYE, I have a ton of Christmas candy to get through before tomorrow!

2.  Exercise 6 days a week.  Never doing the same exercise two days in a row.  I had been exercising 5-6 days a week, until my visit to my parents.  Add in the stress eating (see resolution #1) and lack of exercise around the Seattle trip, and the scale is telling me I need to get back on the program.  That, and my routines are too routine.  If I am into walking, that is ALL I DO.  I need to change things up and change my routines.

3. Be less of a control freak.  My mother showed me just what a control freak is these last few weeks.  I have decided that it is ok for my kids to figure things out on their own.  I will still be available to ask questions of, but I need to let my kids try things and applaud them for their efforts.  They could come up with a new way of doing things I'd never thought of.

4. Take a photograph a day.  I always see this proposition, and now I need to do this!  To post or not to post is the question.

5. Make an effort to do new things creatively every week.  I love to sew.  I love to do lots of "crafty things" but need to make creativity a priority.

6. Go back to school.  I would like to go back to school and have toyed with the idea for years.  This year?  This is the year. 

7.  Do things for myself.  This is the year of my independence.  I am spending too much time looking to others for my happiness.  I need to find my own happiness.

8. Tuck my kids in bed.  You ask Hannah how her day was at 4 p.m. and her standard answer is "fine."  But, if you go into her room as she is snuggling in bed and spend a few minutes asking questions?  She will monologue and open up to tell you things you never thought of asking about.  Her answers increase in word numbers as the day progresses, I would like to be the last one to hear her answers each night.

9. Read. I hadn't consumed a book in months before going on this vacation and being forced to sit on a plane and read.  I need to turn off the tv and read.

10.  Grow spiritually.  Prayer.  Study.  Reflection.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Looking Forward

Looking forward to this afternoon at my sister's.  The clock is moving V...E...R...Y slowly. 

It doesn't help that my Mother has...walked in on Bubba getting dressed and obliviously sat down and started talking about something silly...riffled through all my stuff trying to find a bag of socks she misplaced...told me how to assemble a plate of cookies...told me to wrap said plate so the cookies didn't get dirty.


Merry Christmas everyone!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Grandma Throws A Fit

Yes, we are surviving my parents visit.  We are still here.  I have learned a few things about my Mother that baffle me.

First, I thought my Mother was criticizing everything I did, or thought I was a 42 year old idiot, or going insane and talking to herself, but yesterday I had an epiphany.  My Mother narrates EVERYTHING she does.  We were making cookies and my Mother was walking around the kitchen describing every move she made.  "I'm going to take the butter out, the butter is in the fridge, I buy the butter at Costco in 5 pound packages, and if we don't use it all I'll put what we don't use in the freezer and use it later when I need it."  

Second, the weight of the world rests on my Mother's shoulders.  My sister and I had a date to make cookies for Mom yesterday, you know, so Mom didn't have to spend hours in the kitchen baking.  Our Mother woke up early and turned on the oven so it was 8 MILLION degrees in her already hot house, and began a frenzied baking spree.  She had made two different kinds of cookies before my sister even arrived at 9ish.  Then, Mom proceeded to keep coming into the kitchen and wouldn't sit down.

Third, my Mother falls apart if things don't go right.  After baking all morning, we were going to put a ham in the oven and have a nice, easy dinner with the family.  Scallop potatoes, ham, corn, a salad.  Something holiday-esque and something really easy.  Laura (my sister) and I asked Mom a million times how we could make things even easier, or pre-make the potatoes, but she refused. Fast forward to sitting down for dinner and Mom bursts into tears and freaks out that the ham isn't warm enough, potatoes are runny...the whole dinner is ruined and she shouldn't be allowed to cook.  During the sobbing I turned to my brother-in-law and whispered "Dinner and a show."  We both giggled hysterically.

At one point in the day yesterday my daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, if you act like this when you get old (yeah, I'm not old!), we are going to have a problem."

Friday, December 23, 2011

How To Survive, or Parent Speak 101

I survived my first full day of my visit with the parents.  We (Hannah, Bubba and myself) have been at my parents house for 34 hours, not that I am counting, and the only reason I am surviving is visits and activities with my sister and her family.

Today, we woke at 6:30, because of the time change, and proceeded to do absolutely nothing until 11:30 when I took my Mom out to run errands.  Errands, was actually errand and Mom's entire exaggeration of we have so much to do today actually meant we needed to run to the grocery store for 20 minutes to get 13 things.  

With all our errands accomplished we were able to go to my sisters and take the kids ice skating outside in downtown Tacoma, shop at the University Bookstore and go to Happy Cupcake for after dinner treats.  Woot!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Missing Squirrel

I was downstairs in my sewing area, as I have been sewing a ton of Christmas items lately, and I decided to be kind to the animals and let the squirrels out.  I figure, as long as I am downstairs what's the harm?

Can I tell you that it is a little alarming to be sewing and suddenly have something crawl up your pant leg?  For some reason, Pepper loves to climb up and see what I am working on.

Anyway, I had been sewing for a hour or so and decided that I was cold and done with what I was working on, so it was time to wrangle the beasts.  In the past we have put the gliders dinner in their cage and they have come bounding out of where they have been playing like any other crazy house pet.  We rang the dinner bell.  No Pepper.  I put the cup of fruit and cottage cheese in the cage, Chili, the shy silent type appears from his hibernation pouch and starts chowing down.  No Pepper.

I turn on all the basement lights and rattle some of the shelving.  No Pepper.  I throw up my hands and call Hannah downstairs, since they are her pets and the least she can do is help wrangle Pepper since I played with them and fed them.  Hannah tries.  No Pepper.

I am getting tired, and colder, and finally tell Hannah I am going upstairs to bed and she can deal with the animals.  I'm done.  Put the missing squirrel posters up in the morning, I'm tired.  Hannah begs me to stay a few more minutes and help.  We try everything.  Food.  Pine nuts.  Shelving rattling.  Lights on in the crawl spaces.  I am starting to freak out.  I am thinking Pepper has gotten outside some how and she is a gonner.

Then, Hannah has the brilliant idea that we should let the dog downstairs.  Chloe will sniff the squirrel out.  Chloe is let downstairs and immediately goes over to the cage and starts harassing Chili.  Not what we wanted.  We wrangle Chloe away from the cage and she heads straight for the shelving and starts sniffing up a storm near the far shelf.

Pepper.  Not only is Pepper there, but she has somehow managed to get herself trapped in a clear plastic bin of Hannah's junk.  The poor thing.  If we had gone to bed, she would have been trapped there all night.

Pepper was freed.  Chloe was rewarded.  Everyone is going to bed.  

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Dear Drunken Parents,

Dear Drunken Parents,

Thank you so much for demonstrating how trashy and ignorant you are, you have now left me no doubts as to your parenting skills.  

Let me set the stage...Buffalo Wild Wings, 4 p.m., Saturday, Army Navy football game on the big screens (didn't have a clue because we don't follow football)...and scene:

Step one:  Sit at your table and drink beer after beer and talk amongst yourselves.  CHECK

Step two:  Bring your children and let them run (not walk) laps around the restaurant.  CHECK

Step three: Give your children endless supplies of dollar bills (do you work at Chippendales?) so they can SIT ON THE TABLES and plug said dollar bills into video games.  CHECK

Step four: Don't monitor your under 5 year olds and let them run into the bar area and use the public restroom on their own.  CHECK

Step five: Give your children lots of sugar and no actual meal so they are super whiney and run laps around the restaurant (did I mention that already?) CHECK

I completely understand that I need to be aware of my environment and take the good with the bad as far as people and dining experiences...but...yes, are morons.  After your 4 year old had lapped our table for the 21st time I, a Kindergarten teacher no less, asked my family straight faced if I could stick my foot out of our booth and trip the wild running girl.  I could pretend it was an accident, like  was getting up to use the bathroom or something.

People!  Train your children.  YOU are the parent.  Use babysitters.  Enjoy yourselves without costing others.  Who, pre tell drove home?

Sober kisses,


Sunday, December 4, 2011

Dear Pharma,

Dear Pharma,

Thank you so much for "making me well" while "making me crazy."  I appreciate the fact that physicians are guessing when it comes to diagnosis and a 3 week, head splitting, tennis ball green snot blowing, infection.  But YOUR DRUGS ARE MAKING ME CRAZY.  

Why do you call it a Z-pack anyway?  Z for...zany?  Your z-pack has done nothing for me except nullify all my other medications.  My thyroid?  Totally inactive.  I now sleep all day.  And when I am awake?  My hormones are zoinkers.  I could have thrown my t.v. out the window today while playing an innocent game of wii Billards.  I finally just threw the wii-mote across the room, stormed upstairs and lay in my bed crying.  Over a wii game.  Psycho.  

Thank you, too, for turning the lymph nodes in my neck into hot coals.  Between the mood alterations, lack of head pounding relief, and sleep, I am a freaking mess.  A mess!

Hugs and sleepy kisses,