Monday, November 28, 2011

Dear Lady,

Dear Lady,

Thank you so much for your kind offering of toilet paper, but I don't know you and where your hand has been.  You, my new friend from Kentucky, are very sweet, but since we don't know each other you would never know that (shhhh), I  am a germaphobe, and unless I am related to someone, I wouldn't have a conversation with anyone seated next to me in the adjacent bathroom stall.  It's just me.  Call me crazy.  And, no, I'm not planning on running for Congress, or visiting the Minneapolis airport in the near future.  I just have a problem with germs.

Thank you, too, lady from Kentucky, for your pleasant "in line waiting"conversation in the very small bathroom in the Chick-fil-A.  I could tell that you "seemed" normal with your "MONTANA!" sweatshirt, and your concern for your college aged daughter, but, still, I would rather not use toilet paper than accept a pass from under a dirty stall wall.

Lady, you are well intentioned.  It's just me.  I have issues.  I'm still trying to get the image of your hand coming at me from under the wall, out of my head.  

Hugs and Chicken-y kisses,


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dear Pintrest,

Dear Pintrest,

Thank you for creating a new monster.  Thank you for creating another site that sucks what little free time I cling to dry, and leaves me wondering what the hell I have done with the last hour of my life.  I was hoping for that!

Thank you, too, Pintrest, for not only offering the visual stimuli, but dangling things like "Ribs in the Crockpot!" (which WERE the best ribs ever, BTW) and "Easy Delicious Pretzel Bites" in front of my empty stomach.  They WERE easy.  They WERE delicious in all their buttery goodness.  So now I'm lazy AND fat!  A wintery win-win!

Not only have you made me lazy and fat, you have created a stalker, I mean "Intense Researcher."  Why do I need to know that Vicky S. has 15,000 pins?  Who cares if Sara H. was pinning at 5:30 this morning?  Stop taunting me Pintrest, just stop!

The thing about you, Pintrest, is that you allow me to "pin" stuff to my board and you don't judge me when I never complete a project. But I've decide that I need to change my collecting status to a doing status, and make those recipes!  Sew those projects!  Arrange that furniture!  Wear the combination of clothes like that woman put on her story board.  This weekend I actually made 3 of your recipes and completed, YES COMPLETED, two of your projects.  And I am looking forward to your "Easy Crockpot French Dip" and others.

Hugs and butter drenched kisses,


Thursday, November 10, 2011

If Only I Were THIS Creative 10 Years Ago

I am not a HUGE Star Wars fan, but I do remember seeing the movie in the theater in 1977.  It's not all about the movie, it is the fact that this child's nursery is SO FREAKING CREATIVE, and yet it is all store bought "stuff."  Take a peek here...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dear PBS,

Dear PBS,

Thank you (in all seriousness) for your contribution to my base knowledge.  I can have an intelligent conversation with a recently turned 5 year old about Chinese culture all because of your excellent programming.

Yesterday, I was engaging my new student in conversation and I was able to talk about Chinese culture all because of your cartoon "Sagwa."  Do you remember the cartoon about the Chinese cat that did calligraphy?  It was really popular when Hannah was young...around 2000?  2001?   Well my student was describing her meal from the previous night...squid...and all the other kids were staring at her in horror.  I jumped in and asked this student about Moon Cakes.  All because of my Sagwa knowledge.

This student lit up and said she had moon cakes before when her father had brought them back from China.  I asked what message was smuggled inside (espionage style) and she laughed because I KNEW the moon cake history.  All because of this damn cartoon I must have watched a BILLION times with Hannah.

Then we also discussed Chinese calligraphy, which I remember and can write a few words in, ALL BECAUSE of your cartoon!  My student was very impressed.  

So thank you PBS, for teaching me Chinese 101.  I can keep impressing the 5 year olds!

Sticky hugs and kisses,