Saturday, September 27, 2008


We all went to a wedding this afternoon/evening. D had given this couple marriage counseling for months, weird I know, and today was the big day. The couple is super sweet and really fun.
I have never been to, please don't think less of me for what I am about to say, a wedding held at a steak house. There was a pretty little pond behind the steak house with a gazebo on a walkway out in the water. It was a very nice setting. We drove up and D looked around at the fellow wedding guests and looked at me dead pan and said "Man I should have brought something to chew on." He was BUSTING up trying not to say judgmental things. And now, in my own little blog world I can let loose.

May I just tell you that I have contemplated getting a tattoo before tonight, but could never decide on something I would want on my body for-evah. The guests at this little soirée displayed enough tat's to fill a wall at the tattoo parlor. This was a museum of tattoo-age. Bad tattoos. Scary tattoos. Weird tattoos. Every freakin person under 50 had at least 5 tattoos. And can I tell you that I don't think I will ever get a tattoo now?

Second? Can you say dentist anyone? At one point my darling husband and I were watching the bride and groom walk up the aisle for their departure and caught sight of a woman, maybe 5 years older than me, that had one tooth. ONE. No exaggeration. Right in the middle on the top gum. And since we were at a steak house weddin' the first thing out of my mouth was "How in the Hell is she going to eat her steak?" And she wasn't the only one with less than 5 teef in her mouth.

Next? Can you tell the waiters and busboys at the steak house to hold off on the garbage dump-age and metal pan throwing out the back door while there are wedding ceremonies taking place 50 feet away? D looks at me at one point during the wedding and mutters, "I hope they don't start the trash compactor too."

And? Cigarettes. I don't like them, but I am not super freaky about smokers smoking outside, just don't make me smell it and breathe it. This group had chain smoked until the wedding began, then stubbed out the butt and put it behind their ear for later (out of respect), and two seconds after the wedding they lit the butt. The one tooth lady who was about a size 00, drove her HUGE truck with a ton of weird people hanging out of it from the wedding site to the other side of the parking lot where the restaurant was, I walked faster than her truck and it was less than 100 feet total, chain smoking like she was trying to get oxygen and she'd been deprived for 10 minutes. I know, I know, we are highly snobby and tend to be people judg'ers. But it is so much fun since we are perfect and odor free.

The wedding was BEAUTIFUL. Her colors were orange, pink and fuschia which was stunning. The flowers were gorgeous. And the company? Excellent.

1 comment:

Susan said...

Funny! I once went to a wedding and the bride's cousin wore a dress that covered her slightly (like on the sides really) more than Julia Roberts' pick up dress in Pretty Woman.

It was NOT wedding nor church attire. Apparently it was too constricting though because she changed into cutoff Daisy Duke shorts and a tube top to serve food at the reception.