Dear Recumbent Bike,
Thank you so much for kicking my butt every morning. Ever since I ran 5 miles last Wednesday, I haven't been able to walk, ne sit in a chair for extended periods of time, but you, exercise bike, have made it so I can still burn some calories.
The strange thing, exercise bike, is that you make me sweat weird. Don't take this the wrong way, but why does sweat drip down my arms like James Brooks in Broadcast News when I am riding a bike? It seems that my arms, lying flaccid at my sides get more action than my quads.
And can I say that you are not very helpful when you flash my results at the end of my session and you give me some weak number like 300 calories burned when I have just worked my butt off for 40 minutes! I am expecting better numbers from you, bike! How am I supposed to work off whole pans of brownies and, let's face it, 5 or 6 donuts when YOU can't make that burned calorie number higher?
Well, thank you exercise bike. I appreciate all you have done for me, now I am going to go and make you my bitch.
Hugs and sweaty kisses,