Dear Painting Crew,
Thank you so much for all your hard work beautifying my neighborhood with your dilapidated vehicles and parking along both sides of our residential street for the past two weeks so each one of my neighbors and myself have to drive through your obstacle course of cars to get to and from our homes. The thing I am most thankful for, though, is one truck in particular that has a set of steel testicles hanging from the rear of their truck bed. This one particular pornographic accouterment has encouraged such interesting discussions at our home.
Thank you for being such a FREAKING redneck that you decide that it is okay to hang testicles from your truck. My teenage daughter also appreciates your panache. She has learned so much from you and your truck. As we were weaving by the other day she commented on how your testicles looked like a rear end, and I got the pleasure of explaining to her that those were in fact testicles and you had some sort of insecurity complex so you needed an extra pair. This realization has opened her eyes to the world around her. It is almost as if she is learning the truth of the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, she is now asking me to interpret other foul bumper stickers and car charms.
Thanks so much for everything!
Hugs and sloppy kisses,