Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Teamwork

Being a child of an aging adult/parents is a matter of teamwork.  I feel sorry for only children.  I realize now that I should have had more children but when my husband suggested 5 or 6, 2 seemed right for me at the time.  Now I am wishing I had more for their sakes.  

My sister and brother and I are a team.  Every now and then one of us will take one for the team, like my sister is doing now, and take on my parents or my Dad alone.  Since the three of us siblings live in three different states, our team rarely plays together, ours is more of a 'tag in' effort.

My brother takes our Dad on alone all the time.  It has a lot to do with their relationship, and the desire to give my Mom a reprieve.  My brother is one of few people (if not the only one) who can A. tell my Dad anything to his face B. not take Dad's reaction personally C. carry or pick my Dad up off the sidewalk and D. call Dad on any of his antics.  Me?  I am still wrapping my head around the Dad of my childhood versus the Dad of my forties.  Matthew, my brother, has the ability to finish construction on a house, govern our Father and keep him from undoing what construction has been done, be in a foreign state, and have his car stolen all at once.  God love him.

Laura takes my parents on daily and weekly.  She is the goto for appointments, holidays, and throws in trips to Costco and still remembers to ask them if they want to get together and play cards.  She truly is the favorite.

Me? I do the extended visits.  My parents want to come and stay with my family for weeks at a time just to be with us.  Or we travel to see my parents for a week or two.  Since my parents are my kids only grandparents, it is a great idea, but one that becomes strained quickly.  My independence gets in the way.  My control freaky-ness stresses me out when I suddenly am thrust into the I am the decision maker, but also the child role.

Add all of us together, the three of us get by week by week and month by month to help our parents out as much as we can.  

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