Friday, February 4, 2011

National Day of Bad Words

I try and keep my blog writing clean, but today was my unofficial day of bad words, so I'm sharing.  It all started with my errand to the bank after work.  I went into the bank to make a wire transfer and everything went wrong.  The insurance check I deposited here in OH two weeks ago, that has been on a 10 day hold, was meant to be wire transferred to our out of state bank.  When I went in to arrange for the transfer, the teller informed me that although my bank account reads that the funds are available, the were in fact a figment of my imagination.  The check had been returned to the insurance agency, again.  Yes, this has been going on since DECEMBER.

I did not start screaming profanities right then and there, but very calmly and in my best I'm about to loose it voice informed the teller that I would try my best never to use their bank again.  EVER.  I proceeded to walk out to my car, dial the phone and explain the situation to my dear husband using the f-bomb only every sentence, rather than every other word.

After I'd calmed myself down, and called Jennifer to leave her a funny message since she is the only person woman enough to listen to my f-bomb riddled tirade (again), I went and ran a few calming errands before meeting Bubba off the bus.

Fast forward a few hours to David opening the mail.  He starts reading an employee guide from his parent company, one of those seemingly useless form letters informing employees of health care changes.  As David is skimming the letter he notices the FAQ on the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act and starts cracking himself up.  Why on Earth would his parent company name this thing the GINA? Pronounced exactly how you think...J-EYE-N-A. The jokes start this sponsored by the Veterans Administration?  

As soon as David has exhausted the possibilities of this ill named act I walk up the stairs to retrieve Bubba out of the I am walking David calls out to me "When are the Dicks picking Bubba up?"

Sam is staying the night at his friend's house.  His friend has the unfortunate surname of Dick.  Don't think we haven't exhausted that one.

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