Hannah has a boyfriend. No, not the very cute and popular by parents, Bryce, that she dated and dumped last year, but a new one.
Did that come out wrong? Did you hear the disgust or irritation in my voice?
Tony is fine. Tony is nice. I get along with Tony. He's at our house ALL THE FREAKING TIME, which is fine. Sort of. If you describe Tony to anyone the words "white man's 'fro" are inevitably included and EVERYONE recognizes who you are describing out of the thousands of kids at Hannah's high school. You know, Tony? White man's 'fro? He looks like a Q-tip? Tall, skinny...white man's 'fro? Ahhh...recognition. I actually don't mind Tony's hair, but it's strange that EVERYONE describes him by it. Once Hannah straightened it with a flat iron and it was really weird, but oh well.
Tony and Hannah kiss. THIS is why I am disgusted. Suddenly I feel like the Warden because I have to make sure that where ever they are in my house, they are not kissing. They sit together and watch movies and I have to be in the room because I start freaking out about how he's holding her hand or what's going to happen next. The two of them go up to her bedroom and I start pacing. Paranoid. Yup.
Hannah is in luv. Barf. Some dude has his mouth on my girl. Barf. The topics of safe sex and abstinence are mentioned weekly, if not more often.
My little girl is growing up. Sniff. Sniff.