Last week I was feeling under the gun to get my nephew's birthday card out to the mailbox. His birthday is the 15th, and it was my responsibility (on behalf of my sister and brother and law and me) to send the gift and I just wanted to make sure it was there on time. It is my nephew's first birthday since joining the Navy, and I wanted him to get some stuff in the mail. I also knew that he recently changed rooms, according to my brother, so I wanted to get the envelope out so it could be rerouted if needed.
Tuesday morning I get the card, fill it out, and enclose his gift. I address the envelope, stamp it, and walk it out to the mailbox. It's really not that hard. We've all done it. But I felt a sense of accomplishment, like yeah me! I crossed this off my list! Woot! Happy dance. I head off to work thinking my job is done, and nomination for World's Best Aunt is in the bag.
A few hours later I walk in the door after work and see a familiar envelope on the kitchen counter. Irritated, I call out to Bubba and ask him why the envelope is inside, rather than out in the mailbox. JUST as Bubba is answering that he thought it was incoming mail I pick up the envelope, meaning to take it back outside, only to notice that the envelope was ripped open. Bubba had opened it. I asked Bubba if it was his birthday. I asked him if he used the gift too.
My engine starts revving up and I am in full throttle lecture mode now. WHAT THE HECK!!?? Not only did you remove my envelope from the mailbox with the red flag up, but you freaking opened it? Do I need to send you back to elementary school? Does it have your name on it? How do you address an envelope? Why are you opening someone else's mail? It's called situational awareness child!
Yes, I admit it. I chewed him up and spit him out. I was pissed. Bubba is the smartest, sweetest, most handsome boy in the whole universe, and I love him unconditionally, but sometimes he does the stupidest shit ever.