Define

Last night Hannah and I were sitting in the car at Bubba's soccer game.  No, there was no alcohol involved, just Hannah and me in the car farting (Hannah) and laughing.  We are people watching, as usual, and I point out a woman that I used to work with standing on the sidelines.  Apparently this woman chatted David up the night before about the school levy, and coincidentally she told me as much earlier in the day when I bumped into her.  

I was telling Hannah that this woman, Amy, had asked me who David was.  David had been standing with Sam on the sidelines the day before and she recognized Sam and wondered.  I told Amy that Sam was with his Dad.

Hannah turns to me and asks me, "So what is he?"  

"What is who?" I ask back.

"What is Dad?" Hannah asks.

"Who is Dad?"  I feign as I try and keep the Who's on first routine going.  I knew exactly what Hannah was asking, I just wanted her to articulate.

"What is Dad now?" Hannah asks.

"You mean, of what relation is your father to me?" I finally ask giving in.

"Yea.  How do I refer to him?" Hannah continues.

"You mean your father?  You call him Dad." I deadpan.

"What do you call him?" She asks.

"David."

"Oh for Pete sake mom!  How do you define your relationship with Dad?"

"Friend." I continue.

Hannah growls.

"Your father, my ex-huband, my first husband, or previous husband?  I have no relationship but friends with him."

"You could also say person I used to have sex with."

"Eww.  Hannah.  That's gross, A.  And 2, that's not appropriate."

Hannah picks up my phone and starts playing with it.

"I prefer friend or ex-husband, thank you," I say.

David texts me from across the field and I look at my phone.  The text reads that it is from  "Not so husband"

Apparently she has defined the relationship.