An Actual E-mail From Bubba's Teacher

Good morning,

I thought that I would share w/ you a humorous comment by Sam yesterday during science class.  After reading the reproduction & human development sections in the book, I asked the kids if they had any unique “birth stories” that they would like to share w/ the class.  Sam raised his hand (do you know where this is going? ) and replied, “When I was born, I was so fat I ripped my mom’s vagina.”  I simply replied, “Yep, that happens.”  

I can only imagine what my children say about me….

Sam has been such a pleasure to have in science.  He has a FANTASTIC personality.  He is a hard worker and he participates in class regularly, which I greatly appreciate!  I will certainly miss him next year!!

Have a wonderful day,

Mrs. W

Here is my response....in between fits of giggles.




Mrs. W-


Wow.  

We often talk about how fat Sam was as a baby, he was 9 lbs. 2 oz. at birth and 24 pounds by 4 months old...but honestly the subject of my vagina has never come up.  

I am so glad you e-mailed, but also horrified at the thought that he said this.  Out loud.  In front of his peers. About me.  I saw a few of his peers last night at their soccer game, and I don't think I received too many stares of horror.  

I also have to say that asking that particular open ended question may have additional future embarrassing comments.  If I ever teach human reproduction to middle schoolers, I'll make sure I remember that one.

I cannot stop laughing.

I'm glad you have enjoyed Sam's personality, I personally think he is hilarious, but he can be an acquired taste as all 11 year old boys are.  Thank you so much for sharing this with me!

Careless

Quotes of the week

Yesterday my sister Laura and I were talking on the phone when she asked me if I thought she should eat one of her chickens.  I know, you are thinking she's weird.  But let me explain. 


Laura is a wonderful gardener and runs a farmers market in her town.  Last year (or maybe it was longer) she and her adult son bought some chickens to raise to have fresh eggs and go to the traditional grocery store a little less and survive more from her garden and food locally available.  My nephew took his chickens to his house and basically ignores them, and all have survived and they produces tons of eggs.  Laura raised her chickens and ended up loosing two chicks, and now out of the two chicks she has left, one has quit laying eggs.


Back to the question, should she eat the one that doesn't lay?


So Laura is making conversation with her mother-in-law Anita, seriously the most wonderful mother-in-law in the world, when she brings up the chicken conundrum.  Laura asks Anita her opinion about just killing the chicken that isn't laying eggs.  Anita asks which one of Laura's chickens isn't laying when Laura realizes it is the one named after Anita's Mom.  Oh.  Did I tell you?  Laura named all her chickens after great grandmothers, which is kind of cute because our great grandmother had chickens and we both remember her chickens fondly.


So Laura's comment to me, one of my favorite quotes of the week..."Yeah, in hindsight?  I probably shouldn't have named my chicken after my mother-in-law's mom.  That, wasn't my brightest idea."


My second favorite quote (out of my own mouth) this week was from this morning.  Bubba had a 9 am soccer game and Hannah had to be driven to the high school at the same time to get her $15 physical for fall soccer in the field house.  I woke Hannah up at 8:20 and asked her to get ready for the physical.  By 9:00 am, after listening to the shower run for 10 minutes I stormed upstairs to pound on the door and yell, "It's not like you are going to prom!  Put some clothes on and get your butt out here.  It's a physical for soccer, in a field house, for crap's sake."  Yes, it was my finest parenting moment.

Shopping at My Age

I was shopping by myself this weekend.  A (gasp) clothing store.  I know.  Me? Shopping?  It has been a while.


While I was a the store I noticed that they had some bras on sale, and given that I had been "limping" around in a strapless bra for a few days because some of my bras had fallen apart, some were in the wash, and I had a spanky athletic top from last year that had a Y strap in the back on.  The sale bras were athletic bras that had a matching Y strap in the back, and since I am a teacher and had actually played freeze tag on Friday wearing a strapless bra during gym without scarring any Kindergarteners, I thought I should try the athletic bras on.


While in the dressing room I tried the bra on and put my spanky athletic top back on over it to see the effect.  The straps matched...Plus!  The bra showed a tiny bit, but it looked nice...Plus!  


Then I lifted my arm.  And horror of all horrors...the athletic bra was snug enough that it created a wading pool of extra skin, in a wing like appearance, under each armpit.


I actually had to tuck my 42.5 year old skin flaps into my bra!  Ga...ross.


Yes, I bought the bras.  And I have done 20 push ups each night in hopes that the skin wings will disappear soon.