Yes, we are surviving my parents visit. We are still here. I have learned a few things about my Mother that baffle me.
First, I thought my Mother was criticizing everything I did, or thought I was a 42 year old idiot, or going insane and talking to herself, but yesterday I had an epiphany. My Mother narrates EVERYTHING she does. We were making cookies and my Mother was walking around the kitchen describing every move she made. "I'm going to take the butter out, the butter is in the fridge, I buy the butter at Costco in 5 pound packages, and if we don't use it all I'll put what we don't use in the freezer and use it later when I need it."
Second, the weight of the world rests on my Mother's shoulders. My sister and I had a date to make cookies for Mom yesterday, you know, so Mom didn't have to spend hours in the kitchen baking. Our Mother woke up early and turned on the oven so it was 8 MILLION degrees in her already hot house, and began a frenzied baking spree. She had made two different kinds of cookies before my sister even arrived at 9ish. Then, Mom proceeded to keep coming into the kitchen and wouldn't sit down.
Third, my Mother falls apart if things don't go right. After baking all morning, we were going to put a ham in the oven and have a nice, easy dinner with the family. Scallop potatoes, ham, corn, a salad. Something holiday-esque and something really easy. Laura (my sister) and I asked Mom a million times how we could make things even easier, or pre-make the potatoes, but she refused. Fast forward to sitting down for dinner and Mom bursts into tears and freaks out that the ham isn't warm enough, potatoes are runny...the whole dinner is ruined and she shouldn't be allowed to cook. During the sobbing I turned to my brother-in-law and whispered "Dinner and a show." We both giggled hysterically.
At one point in the day yesterday my daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, if you act like this when you get old (yeah, I'm not old!), we are going to have a problem."