Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Dear Drunken Parents,

Dear Drunken Parents,


Thank you so much for demonstrating how trashy and ignorant you are, you have now left me no doubts as to your parenting skills.  


Let me set the stage...Buffalo Wild Wings, 4 p.m., Saturday, Army Navy football game on the big screens (didn't have a clue because we don't follow football)...and scene:


Step one:  Sit at your table and drink beer after beer and talk amongst yourselves.  CHECK


Step two:  Bring your children and let them run (not walk) laps around the restaurant.  CHECK


Step three: Give your children endless supplies of dollar bills (do you work at Chippendales?) so they can SIT ON THE TABLES and plug said dollar bills into video games.  CHECK


Step four: Don't monitor your under 5 year olds and let them run into the bar area and use the public restroom on their own.  CHECK


Step five: Give your children lots of sugar and no actual meal so they are super whiney and run laps around the restaurant (did I mention that already?) CHECK


I completely understand that I need to be aware of my environment and take the good with the bad as far as people and dining experiences...but...yes, but...you are morons.  After your 4 year old had lapped our table for the 21st time I, a Kindergarten teacher no less, asked my family straight faced if I could stick my foot out of our booth and trip the wild running girl.  I could pretend it was an accident, like  was getting up to use the bathroom or something.


People!  Train your children.  YOU are the parent.  Use babysitters.  Enjoy yourselves without costing others.  Who, pre tell drove home?


Sober kisses,


Careless

6 comments:

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Eileen said...

Too funny! I would have been tempted to trip the kid too.

When my son was about 8, we were in a coffee shop with a friend. He was sitting quietly with us eating a donut, when a mom came in with her little girl. The child pointed to one donut after another, and every time the clerk took the donut out of the case, she began to cry and say, no, no, not that one.

After several aborted attempts to pick out a donut, and a lot of crying, my son turned to my friend and I, and said "Duct tape, I'm thinking duct tape".

We howled and the mom scowled and I'll never forget that moment.
(My son is now 24)

Anthony said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ms. ZangaZanga said...

Y'know, I'm all for parents taking their children out.

In fact, I believe it to be a brilliant way of teaching children how to behave in certain situations... training, as you very nicely put it.

I'm very tired of hearing parents say 'I'd love to take my child out... but they just have no idea how to behave' NO ... of course they don't BECAUSE you have not taught them how to!

Bah -wanders off all mumbling and grumbling- Thanks for the thank you note... it made my day :D

Careless said...

Ms. Zanga Zanga- I, too, marvel at the parents who use the line "I would love to go out, but they have no idea how to behave..." Well? That is saying a lot for your parenting. My two kids were with us, and granted they are getting older, but they have been able to sit in a restaurant and be civil. I can't even remember a time when they were not able to behave in a restaurant, but I do have a wonderfully selective memory!

oneworld said...

Nice post.....