Zero to Sixty

My gorgeous girl went and got her haircut and grew up.  Did I tell you that she has a boyfriend?  Or should I say had.  Bryce has been a fixture at our house all summer.  We, David and I, made a point of inviting him over a few times a week, meeting his parents, spending time with him.  David made a joke the other day that we couldn't move anywhere, because we would loose Bryce.   He was over just last week for dinner, and we went and saw Harry Potter with him last Friday.

Last night Hannah walked out of the house around 8 pm and said "I'm going outside."  Instantly I knew that she had been texting with our new neighbor (just met them last weekend) and she was going outside to meet him and his cousin from Kansas that was visiting.  Around 10:30 I texted Hannah and asked her to please come inside (I had been peeking out the window and knew she was in the yard talking to these boys).  Hannah was covered in 34 bug bites (love is cruel), smelled like Axe, and she came inside giving me attitude (and I quote "What?").

Excuse me?  I started asking questions, because I am an involved parent, not a busy body and apparently Hannah decided she liked this other kid who lives 14 hours away and broke up with Bryce.  What?

All day today I asked Hannah if I could text Bryce, and I made comments to Hannah on how much I was going to miss him and that she was crazy to break up with him.  Hannah declared it would be creepy if I invited him over and continued to spend time with him.  Duh.  But it's like we ALL broke up with him.  I'm involved with his family.  His Mom and I have been doing stuff together.  We all spent time together!  When I texted David to tell him that Hannah broke up with Bryce, he too said he was sad, would miss him and wanted to know what was up with Hannah.

This was Hannah's first real boyfriend.  I was kind of thinking that it would be a fairytale romance and Hannah and Bryce would meet at 13 and fall in love and get married 15 years later after a long celibate courtship.  Am I being unreasonable?

8th Grade Boys

I spent the morning volunteering at the 8th Grade Farewell party.  Mind you, my 8th grader is a girl, but 8th grade boys are weird!  5 minutes after arrival I was thrust into the position of first base ref for one of the kickball stations.  


Of coarse, because it is kickball and 14 year old kids, one of the boys gets hit in the junk at the end of the first inning.  While he is rolling around on the ground at my feet another boy (Daniel) walks up to me, assesses the situation and starts describing a recent event in his life where a friend of Hannah's grabbed him by his junk and gave it a twist.  He went on to vividly describe the resulting vomiting and pain.


Seriously.  I knew neither of the boys.  Is this what 8th grade boys discuss with strange 41 year old women?  The balls of these kids, I tell ya!

Hyperventilating

Today the kids had an early dismissal because it was the end of the grading period.  Hannah was home playing wii when I asked her if she was going to invite friends over or if she had plans.  She said no because Mo was at basketball.

I saw the opportunity and took it (uncharacteristically) and asked what T was doing this afternoon.  Apparently she and T were texting each other (crap) and with my prompting (see? I'm not like my mother), she invited T over to play wii with her and he accepted.

T showed up at the door a few minutes later (did I tell you that T lives a few blocks away?  And, unrelated, we are installing bars on all our windows and doors?)  Bubba ran out to see who was at the door and he said to his friend, "Oh, it's my sister's boyfriend."

I started to hyperventilate.  So this is it? Do Hannah and T think this?  I regain my composure and smile and welcome T into the house and ask if he'd like a brownie.

Defining Moment

Do you wake up one day and realize you’ve become your mother?  Is it a gradual transition?

Today was a snow day.   For me, snow day=get things done day.   As my morning progressed I formed my plans for the day.   I emptied the file cabinet and organized the items needed for 2010 taxes, filed away 2010 utilities, etc.   I had a Doctor’s appointment at 1:30, so I started making plans revolving around that end of town:  I’ll return that sweater to that store since it’s around the corner, I’ll go to the DMV and fix my license plate, I need to go to the post office, the grocery store…you get the idea.

Around 11 a.m., after I have showered and readied myself for the day, Hannah approaches and asks if she can go sledding with Mo (her girlfriend) and T (the boy she wants to profess her love to).  I grant her permission, reminding her that she needs to be home by 1:00 to watch her brother so I can go to the Doctor…realizing her life sucks, but she’ll get over it.

After multiple texts with Mo, Hannah comes to the realization that there isn’t enough room in the car for everyone invited.   Insert me being selfish.  Insert me wanting to get all MY stuff done.  My child is 13 and growing up fast, I need to stop being selfish, do her a solid and take her and her friends sledding.  It is NOT ALL ABOUT ME. So I man up, scrap the morning plans, and offer to drive all of them, including Bubba, to the hill. 

(Let me interject that Hannah’s feet have not only grown out of her snow boots, but her snow pants were 6 inches too short.  She’s KILLIN me with her growth spurts.)

Mo and T show up at our house a few minutes later and Hannah introduces me to T, a very tall, lanky, fun, smiley, braced filled, boy.

 

Confident enough to talk to adults, great. 

Cute, bonus. 

Looks strangely like my husband as a youth, a little weird.

We chat it up and are all standing behind the car, putting sleds in the back hatch when the subject of socks comes up.   T pulls up his pant leg to show us his socks, when it dawns on me, HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL T has extremely hairy legs.  This child has gone through puberty. 

***You know in the movies when the main character has some sort of stunning flash sequence of images race through their mind?  I stood there for all of 10 seconds and hundreds of images flashed through my brain…Hannah dating.  Hannah driving.  Hannah at prom.  Hannah getting married.  Hannah having her first baby.*** 

This man-child in front of me, is Hannah’s first love interest.  THIS is the beginning.  This is the start of boyfriends, dating, heartbreak, etc.  I AM OLD.  When did I grow up?  Why do I have to be the adult? 

One o’clock rolls around, the kids finish sledding and I bring them back to our house.  The plan has always been for me to go to the doctor, and Mo and T to go home until I am done.  This is our RULE.  NO BOYS, or any friends for that matter, in the house when we (the parents) are gone.

Hannah asks if I can bend the rule and T can stay for a few minutes to “help her with her homework project.”  All the while I’m getting the HELP SISTAH OUT vibe going on from Hannah.

Do I act like my mother?  I am at a crossroads. 

I agree that T can stay, for a FEW minutes.  The kids go to the basement to take their wet clothes off and I call Hannah back upstairs, into the kitchen.   My defining moment.  HERE IS WHERE I CHOOSE NOT TO BE LIKE MY MOTHER.

My exact words to Hannah: “I am letting T stay to help you with your project.  I have asked you to let him stay for a short time frame.  There is to be no kissing.  You are not to have sex.  Do you understand me?” I tell myself I need to open the discussion and say the words out loud so we are all comfortable with them now.

Hannah looks at me and laughs, then makes the promise that she will not kiss or have sex.  I hobble out the door, confident with my girl and her choices.  I am ancient.