Fast

Because I'm always a glutton for punishment, or wanting to improve myself, "we," as in the royal we, decided that our family was going to go on a cleansing fast of fruits and vegetables.  Day one.  Today. Nothing but fruit.  Day two.  Veggies.


Let me just interject here and say that my 11 year old and 14 year old were never told to stick to this cleanse, but encouraged to participate in order to add more fruits and vegetables to their non-stop stream of junk food since the end of the school year.  I am not advocating that growing teens and pre-teens cleanse diet.


Day one.  Nothing but fruit.  The day starts well...yummy fruit...mmmm.  Everyone has fruit to the hearts desire.  Apples, mango, pineapple, pears, blueberries...really yummy.  Until about noon.  The kids start whining.  I suggest they add some turkey to their cleanse because lean meats are healthy and they could use a little protein.  They head to the fridge and eat a package of turkey lunchmeat.


Around one I get a text from David.  Does beer count?  We volley back and forth and I suggest that beverages, within reason, should be okay since I really need a diet coke about this time of the day.  We agree that milkshakes, while they sound really good and could be acquired in many fruity flavors, would be unreasonable.


Two o'clock comes and Hannah is about to die from starvation and breaks down and eats a turkey wrap with her fruit.  Bubba needs a turkey sandwich, and both are commended for adding so many fruit and veggies to their day.  Woot!  I beat them!  I'm still in the competition, because everything is a competition to me.


Four o'clock comes around and my tongue is sore from all the pineapple I have eaten.  David gets caught with a Choibani Yogurt, and tells the kids "it's just pineapple...in a thick broth."


So as of 5:00 p.m. on day one of the fast, I am declaring myself the winner.  While the other three still think they are in the game, we all know that I won.