Dear Scary Guy,

Dear Scary Guy,


Thank you for scaring the sh*t out of me each morning while I am walking my dog.  I really appreciate how the only indications I have that you are lurking, are the glowing tip of your cigarette, and the way my dog starts FREAKING out when she smells you and your dogs.


Thank you, too, for eerily stopping and waiting while I am 100 feet away, and holding that pose until I am 100 feet in the opposite direction.  The way you dress head to toe in dark colors?  Just adds to your extra special persona.  AND the fact that you have two ENORMOUS black dogs on scary choke leashes, that look like the demon dogs of hell, also does not convey "safe" person in my mind.  Keep in mind, Scary Guy, that my dog may look like a 9 pound fur ball, but she'd rip your face off if you came close to me.  I swear.


We live in a nice neighborhood Scary Guy.  I would hope that you have some sort of livelihood that did not include the words "black-market" or "organs."  I have informed key witnesses (my husband) that if I turn up dead in the creek, YOU are the first person that he should question after the appropriate time of weeping and mourning.


Air hugs and kisses,


Careless