Dear Airline Passengers and Staff,

Dear Airline Passengers and Staff,


Thank you for teaching me how to stand in a boarding line and for correcting my errant ways in regards to carry on items.  I know, it seems like I should have learned these skills after almost 41 years on this earth, after all I do fly usually 2 or 3 times a year, but I keep forgetting that boarding lines are different from normal lines and that airlines have screwed themselves with carryon rules.


Take for instance the boarding groups.  On all four of our flights our boarding group was #2.  The airline employee would make the announcement that they were about to board, and every person within shouting distance would come and stand as close as they could...seemingly in a line to cheek in.  When our group was called, we went to stand in line and noticed the line was not moving.  We'd ask the people around us if they were in line and they would say no.  And stand there.  So we'd weave ahead.  Are you in line?  No.  Weave ahead.  PEOPLE.  You are standing in a line, but aren't actually in line.  What the heck?


On one of our flights we as we wove up through the "line" of people I asked one woman if she was in line and her answer?  "Yeah, everyone is!" (Insert snotty inflection here).  Being me, I retorted, "Actually all these other people?  Not so much.  They are just standing here."  And I walked ahead of the bitchy lady to the check in.  Turns out?  That lady was our seat mate.  David and I made a point of sitting together on that leg so that bitchy lady would get the pleasure of sitting with our sugared up, slap flighting, fart-y children.  Bitter?  Naw.  Grateful she corrected me.  Thank you bitchy lady.


And don't get me started on carry on items!  Mrs. American Airline employee who tackled me as I walked down the jetway with (gasp) 3 items rather than 2!  So sorry. Again, thanks for correcting me.


I should insert here that we went with 4 backpacks instead of checking luggage.  Each one of us carried a normal schoolchild sized backpack, and in addition, I carried my purse and small DSLR camera case.  If you have flown recently you know that this baggage charge has created such a stir.  Passengers carry these body bagged sized duffels, HUGE shopping bags full of weird crap, and basically break the rules on size with every bag.  This evil AA employee lets a woman in front of our group head down the jetway with two ENORMOUS duffel bags, but as I start down the jetway she balks at my backpack AND purse AND camera case (three!) all of which would have fit in half of one of the other lady's duffel bags.  David and the kids head down, and here I am being pulled aside so I can gate check one of my bags.  Seriously?


Thank God David, not seeing me in the jetway, comes back for me and takes my camera bag as I am arguing with evil AA lady.  Seeing that he has only a backpack, she agrees to his resolution.


I am muttering the whole way down the jetway until I remember I am on vacation.  "Don't let evil airline employee ruin your vacation.  Don't let evil airline employee ruin your vacation..."


Only one hug and one kiss (we wouldn't want to exceed our limit),


Careless