Best Christmas Gift EVER!

We just got home from Washington last night:

billions of loads of wash...

cleaning of carpets (dog! Argh!)...

grocery shopping to fill the bare fridge...

more on the trip (and it's aftermath) later.

Right now I wanted to share the best

Christmas gift ever!

My sister bought David and I this book

Looking for a pee in your pants good laugh?

Get the book!

Visit their site!

Discover their sister site

about family pets...

Funny? Yeah!

And to think, we could have been a part of this phenomenon,

if I had only signed the release forms.

I'd better get on it so I can get us into the sequel.

Wishing You a Merry Christmas

Watching cheese being made.

Beautiful produce.

Gorgeous seafood.

Merry Christmas from Pike Place!

It's Been A While

Sorry it has been so long.

We've been getting cultured.

Yesterday we went to see the Picasso Exhibit.

Weird story, we were walking around the exhibit and I

saw this woman across the room.

After admiring her scarf I glanced at her face

and thought, I know her.

We had just visited my brother in Knoxville and I remember seeing

this woman on his fridge, but I couldn't remember her name.

I text my brother.

After stalking this woman for a few rooms I get up the nerve

to approach and ask.

I ask her if she knows "my brother's name."

She looks at me in surprise and answers yes.

I explain that I was just visiting my brother in Knoxville and now

I am visiting my sister in WA,

she is shocked I recognize her from my brother's fridge.

It seems that when my brother and his wife

were pregnant with their first child,

they met this woman and her husband in birthing class.

Their kids were born a week apart 21 years ago.

My brother had not been in contact with this family in a few years,

but he had an old picture Christmas card on his fridge.

Strange and wacky world.

Or should I say I have a strange and wacky memory?

The rest of the day was fun hanging with the family.

Love this place!

I am Not a Bad Mother

Last night was Hannah's middle school band concert.

There are so many other things in life I would rather do than attend

a middle school band concert.

To name a few: have a painful root canal,

go in for an annual girley exam,

have my toenails clipped in a public place by a stranger,

or go to an all day insurance seminar and sit in the front row.

Band is David's thing.

Band is David's requirement.

I love to be with my girl and support every little thing she does,

but the ONLY reason I went last night was because I did not want

to be a bad mother. The no show.

The "my Mom is at home stuffing her face with bonbons,

'cuz she'd rather not step foot in this auditorium to hear our band"

kind of bad mom.

So how did I manage?

A little friend of mine named David Sedaris.

I sat in that awful auditorium with my ear buds in

listening to "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" loving

every minute of the concert.

I heard the music as background music to my very enjoyable book.

I just had to listen to a chapter that didn't make me laugh out loud,

as I am known to do when listening to Sedaris.

I saw my girl preform. I clapped in all the right places.

I took pictures.

I am not a bad mother.

When it was over, on the way home, I commented how short

the concert seemed this year and how quickly

the evening seemed to pass.

David just looked at me and rolled his eyes.

Christmas on a Snow Day

Monday we had a snow day.

We all got to stay home from school,

David went to work for a few hours, but left late and came home super early.

I put a roast in the oven and

we decided that we would have an early Christmas.

The four of us decided that we would only

do stocking stuffers this year since we are going to be at my parents

Christmas morning.

We started with the Christmas story...

We sat in front of Davids Grandma's tree, with all it's handmade

ornaments from David and his brother.

Candy, t-shirts, and fun stuffers...

...sweaters, magazines...

...socks, and mugs...

It was a wonderful family time.

Now it is a little weird.

Holiday commercials, people rushing around

buying last minute gifts in a panic.

We are calm and done. Christmas behind us.

It is almost as if we celebrate a holiday

such as Diwali or Hanukkah and have these crazy Christmas celebrating

weirdos to contend with and put up with.

A Day In the Life

David: Let's go for a family walk. Everyone, go get your coats on. Let's take the dog for a pee.

...5 minutes pass...adults have coats on waiting at the back door, children are missing.

David: Let's go! Mom and I are waiting at the back door!

Hannah appears, adding the finishing touches to her ensemble.

Bubba appears coat-less, glove-less, shoe-less.

Me: What are you doing? Come on Bubba.

Bubba: (running into the laundry room) I need to grab something I'll be right there! (door closes)

Me, Hannah and David: We're leaving. Come on! What are you doing?

Bubba: (through the door) I'll be right there.

Me: (opening the door) What are you grabbing, aaaaahhh! (Closing the door promptly) Why don't you have pants on?

Bubba: (through the door) I'm coming. Just a minute. I need some underwear.

Me: (thinking back through the previous events of the day) Have you been commando all day?

Hannah: Eww. Gross.

Bubba: No.

Me and David: Then why are you changing your underwear?

....door opens and Bubba walks out picking up his coat...

Bubba: Because I sneeze-peed. My pants were wet.

Me and David:

Hannah: Okay then, we all ready?

I Love this Type of Art

Get it? This type?

I know. I'm hilarious.

This British artist uses a typewriter to "draw" her pictures.

Wow. Just when I thought someone couldn't come up

with something new in the art world.

Gone today, Snow Tomorrow

We went out for the day because we are supposed to get

snow tomorrow. And Monday. And who knows

when we will be able to leave the house again.

So we headed out toward Cincy.

On the way I willed the car to stop at the outlet mall.

It seems that the insurance man told us that they would replace the coat

(North Face liner to my big coat)

I was wearing the night of our car accident, as well as

David's new pants. They were destroyed.

Decisions, decisions.

Shopping with someone else's dime was harder than it seems,

but I walked away with this awesome new coat...

I was very impressed with the Columbia outlet. I toured both

Columbia and North Face stores and while jackets in the North Face store

were $200, I bought my Columbia Omni Shield Stain resistant

armor coat for $25.00 and LOVE it. I've worn it all night.

So off to IKEA for some meatballs.

And nine hours later I still have the meatball revenge.

I HEART meatballs, but sometimes they don't love me back.

But I digress.

Guess what? I did not buy a THING. Not one thing.

I was very disappointed in IKEA's as is department today.

Usually I can get some good cheap fabric, plates, bedding.

Nothing today.

More shopping back home and I walked away with

4 pieces of clothing from the GAP for Bubba for $40.

They had some crazy buy one get the next for 60% off sale,

and I had another coupon that they honored.

Sweet.

3 pairs of pants, and a Christmas shirt.

Bubba only wants to wear fleece lined track pants currently,

and I found these rocking fleece lined elastic waist

pant that feels like he's wearing track pants, and we are both happy.

A productive day.